How To Overcome Insecurity In A Relationship
Most relationships start out smooth-sailing. After a while, though, when couples widen their network of friends and interact with other people, and as the relationship deepens, anxieties and insecurities may set in.
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Persistent self-doubt may plague some people. Questions like “Will my partner remain in love and faithful to me?” or “Could my partner be attracted to another woman?” and so on may bother some people no end. If one party focuses too much on whether the relationship will last rather than enjoying the present moment, it’s a sign that that there’s something that needs fixing.
Not being able to curb anxieties and insecurities can create problems, or sabotage a relationship. The fact is, something can be done to heal and overcome your worst enemy – yourself.
Causes of Insecurity
Insecurity may stem from deep-rooted issues with one’s self, or a traumatic experience in the past. When a couple keeps arguing over the same thing, like when one partner tends to be overly possessive, and the other person begins to feel smothered, then it’s high time to reassess the relationship and uncover the root causes of the insecure feelings.
If the cause of the insecurity is catching one’s mate cheating, and it’s difficult for the other person to forgive, forget and trust again, the relationship may come to a standstill. All the hurt feelings over a past betrayal may make a person continually doubt a partner.
Emotional immaturity is another cause for insecurity. A woman may be a stunning beauty, but if she relies on her man for her happiness, and tends to be too clingy, then it can spell relationship disaster. She needs to cultivate her own interests and grow as a person.
Constantly comparing your mate with others may also create problems. Your partner may feel like his/her own positive traits are overlooked.
Another common cause of insecurity in a relationship is not being sure of one’s self either in looks or in being worthy of being loved.
How Your Insecurity Can Be a Saboteur in Your Relationship
Being in denial that one is insecure will not really help a person who is in a relationship. If you’re always getting insecure when your man interacts with other women even on a platonic or professional basis, owing perhaps to a past experience of being betrayed by your loved one, it can be destructive to your relationship. In some cases, being too possessive or attached can make your partner hate you or bring out the worst in him.
Continually craving for attention and affection and doubting your partner without valid reason are self-sabotaging behaviors. They build toxicity in a relationship and may eventually destroy it.
An insecure individual’s repeated need for reassurance can be tiresome. The more insecure a person becomes, the higher the possibility of driving away a partner. Eventually, the fear of losing one’s partner becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It’s high time you admit there’s something wrong with you. Hurt feelings or resentment embedded in your heart will negatively affect your state of mind. Learning how to let go and forgive will release the negativity and make room for happiness.
How to conquer insecurity
First and foremost, you need to identify the triggers of your relationship-related insecurity. Even if your mind is telling you that being overly dependent on your partner’s availability and reassurances is immature, you may find it difficult to control your insecure reactions. What to do about it?
Individuals can conquer feelings of insecurity in many ways. Foremost among these is to develop a healthy self-concept and appreciation. There are also tools to understand why one feels the way he or she does. For instance, if a man is often treated by his partner in such a way that nothing he says is taken the right way, it can be stifling. Mirroring, which is used in yoga, can be one technique to understand one’s self better. If a woman does not feel good about herself, she’ll tend to feel that way, too, about her partner. The sentiments that her mate ignites in her reflects how she feels about herself.
Talking things out often works. It’s important to ask your partner for an honest reality check on what’s really going on. Once you’ve expressed feelings of insecurity to your partner, you should also learn to let old issues dissolve and allow healing. Discussing issues with each other can lead to a good outcome if your partner is hearing your concerns accurately. If there’s real effort exerted to work cooperatively to address concerns and to take responsibility for actions, then you’re laying the right foundation for a good relationship. Here’s a full article on “how to communicate positively“.
It’s important to realize that nobody’s perfect. A very important element that will help yourself or your partner overcome insecurities is acceptance.
Learning how to compromise may also help ease feelings of insecurity related to the relationship. Couples must strive to help their partners grow in a healthy manner.
An insecure person must acknowledge his/her weaknesses and take self-help measures. Chakra therapy is one of the ways to improve self-esteem and gain a sense of trust. Some yoga postures can help attain a balanced perspective.
Identifying self-destructive behavior is crucial. If you happen to be a very insecure woman, your partner will just feel like you are always trying to control him. The trick is to learn how to deal, specifically how to be calm and confident even if there’s a threat of loss. Your social network – friends, family, and other people who wouldn’t criticize or mock you for being an insecure affection-starved person — may be a huge help.
For some people, leaving insecurities behind may be tough to do. Nonetheless, it can be done, and it all begins with having faith in your capabilities. If it’s your partner who has constantly shown insecure responses, you must be patient and extend help not just in uncovering the root causes, but in overcoming the insecurities. Instead of criticizing insecure behavior, find a way to counter the foundation of the insecure feelings.
Jesse Waters is head content writer and article at God Men. He found out about his love for writing when he was struggling with cancer. His works are very sensitive and he writes with his heart.